Years ago, I walked away from an epic wedding celebration — the kind people still talked about long after the confetti hit the floor. The theme was literally “epic wedding celebration,” and trust me, we delivered.
Friends and family declared it would be unforgettable, and I took that as a personal challenge. So I did what any extra Leo lioness would do: I made it unforgettable.
But time has a way of teaching you things marriage can’t.
Today, I’m no longer married — and that experience gives me an even deeper perspective on what makes wedding vows meaningful, memorable, and aligned with who you are.
One thing from that day still holds true:
Writing your own vows is one of the most powerful, personal, and beautiful ways to shape your ceremony.
Whether your marriage lasts a lifetime or becomes a chapter in your growth story, the vows you speak should reflect your truth in that moment.
So let’s talk about how to do that well.
Why Write Your Own Wedding Vows?
Custom vows transform a ceremony from “cookie cutter” to deeply intentional.
They give you room to:
✨ be romantic
✨ be funny
✨ be soulful
✨ honor your story
✨ highlight your values
✨ set intentions for your future together
Back then, my partner and I took completely different approaches — he went traditional, I went full personality (as always). Our guests still say our vows were their favorite part of the entire day.
No matter how your love story unfolds, the promises you speak that day matter. They should feel like you.
How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: A Simple Formula That Works
Writing vows can feel intimidating — even overwhelming — but it doesn’t have to be.
Here’s the same easy formula I created for myself (and now teach my couples as a wedding officiant):
1. Find quiet time to reflect.
Set aside at least 30 minutes to sit with your thoughts — uninterrupted.
Think before you write. Feel before you craft.
Let your heart speak first; you can edit later.
2. Go back to the beginning.
Think about the first moment you met or the moment you knew they were “your person.”
Ask yourself:
- What did I feel in that moment?
- How has that feeling evolved?
- What has this person added to my life?
Use that reflection to open your vows.
3. Highlight what you love most about them.
This is where you gush — sincerely.
Consider:
- What qualities do you admire?
- What do they do that melts you?
- How do they make your life better?
- What do you appreciate that they may not even know?
Share it.
4. Declare your promises.
This is the heart of the vows — your commitments.
You can keep it traditional or get creative:
- “I promise to support your dreams.”
- “I promise to choose us, even on the hard days.”
- “I vow to grow with you, not away from you.”
- “I promise to laugh with you, cry with you, and evolve with you.”
Whether your vows are poetic, spiritual, or playful, let them reflect your authentic voice.
5. End with a powerful, loving declaration.
This can be sweet, humorous, iconic, intimate, or a little quirky.
If you share an inside joke or favorite movie moment, this is the perfect place to weave it in. During my own vows, I ended with a line inspired by one of our favorite movies — and the crowd loved it.
Your close should feel like a ribbon on the gift you just opened.
Final Tips for Crafting Vows That Wow
✔ Keep your vows around 1–3 minutes.
✔ Decide together on tone and structure (traditional, modern, funny, poetic, etc.).
✔ Read examples online for inspiration — not imitation.
✔ Most importantly: write from the heart, not from pressure or perfectionism.
A Note From My Heart to Yours
Even though my marriage didn’t last, the vows I wrote were true in that moment — and that’s what mattered. Love evolves. Sometimes it deepens, and sometimes it teaches you when to let go.
But the act of writing vows — of declaring what love means to you — is a sacred, transformative experience all on its own.
Your vows are not about guaranteeing an outcome.
They’re about honoring your truth, your love, and the courage it takes to say, “I choose you.”
If you want help crafting unforgettable, heartfelt, emotional, or laugh-out-loud memorable vows, my team of wedding professionals and I would be honored to support you.
✨ Request a FREE consultation through Chicago Love Connection ✨
We’ll help you write vows that feel authentic, aligned, and absolutely YOU.
Tell me in the comments if this was helpful — and if you’d like me to create a fill-in-the-blank vow template next!
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